On Fridays I sometimes post stupid little things. This would be one of those…
I found an application submitted for “Boobie Washer” on the bathroom counter. I do not remember placing that particular “Help Wanted” ad. ”Knee Polisher,” sure. I think most people spend a good part of their lives looking for a good knee polisher. But “Boobie Washer?” Ludicrous.
I’m assuming my husband left it there, hopefully for me. His credentials are less than stellar, but it is the only application I’ve received so far.
$500 per boob seems excessive, though.
Only Mondays? That means 6 days of dirty boobies. That doesn’t seem acceptable. I’d send him a rejection letter.
Nicole recently posted..custos morum*
Add your Twitter: DTUBlog
It really is unacceptable. But, boobie washers are notoriously lazy.
Amy Vansant recently posted..How a Horse Turned Me into Queen Quitter
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working).
I have references!
Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..The Best $10 I Have Ever Spent
How does he ride two armadillos?
Also, now I can start making some money on the side.
Lance recently posted..Heart In A Blender
Not surprisingly, I asked him that same question. He said “A foot on each one, standing. Duh.”
Amy Vansant recently posted..Affordable Snoring Mouthpiece
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Kinda surprised folks having trouble with this one. Tell me you’ve never had armadillo roller skates!
@bluenotebacker recently posted..Watch where you’re going!
Where I grew up we always used iguanas, so it was confusing at first..
Amy Vansant recently posted..Seize the Day Blog Interview
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
I would like to know why he feels you need to wash your boobs only once a week. This disturbs me only slightly more than the fact that he rides armadillos.
Abby recently posted..Letting It Go
Add your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues
I’m most confused by “Social Security No: “Never Tested”" Took me a while to get “Date – Really?” but I’m still working on the SSN comment.
Amy Vansant recently posted..Why You Shouldn’t Mix Manhattans with Wine
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Agreed. I just let that one go, as he was obviously drunk when he applied, therefore negating any need for drug testing before proceeding with the application process. Good luck!
Abby recently posted..Letting It Go
Add your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues
If he can only do Mondays, I can come in and help on the weekends (and an occasional weekday when I’m not working).
I have references!
I have a resume a mile long. In college, not only was I a boobie washer, but I also did booty buffing on the side.
The moment when you’ve shined an ass so well you can see your reflection? A proud moment indeed.
Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..Stand Up Comics and My Ex Wife (starring @JohnHeffron!)
I’m afraid nepotism has won the day already. Plus he threatened to stop mowing the lawn if I didn’t hire him.
Amy Vansant recently posted..Show the Nice Lady the Chiggers Hiding in Your Butt
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
$500/boob sounds like he’s trying to rob you. Especially given the low fuel costs associated with transportation by armadillo. I would refuse to pay a cent over a hundred for the pair.
SarcasticNinja recently posted..It’s Tough to Be the Queen – Part 1
Add your Twitter: SarcasticArt
You have an EXCELLENT point on the money saving armadillos.. thank you for the bargaining chip.
Amy Vansant recently posted..What are Down Pillows? A Goose’s Final Revenge
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Pffft. My husband does that job for free. More than once a week, too.
Stacey recently posted..Little Big Stuff
Well don’t let him realize he can demand payment. Hide my URL.
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
The price is steep considering he added the “ie” in Boobie Washer. $500 per might be reasonable for a Boob Washer….but Boobie? I don’t know if he takes his job seriously enough.
Kristen recently posted..Bone Density Should Be a Status Symbol
Funny thing is, he gives me a 100% discount if I let him do it. Not a bad deal…
Amy Vansant recently posted..How NOT to Fix an Air Conditioning Unit
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Where are these 2 armadillos parked? I’m a little nervous about this. They’re messy. Everything else seems like pretty standard language…
Amy B recently posted..Another Reminder
Where DOESN’T he keep them. I’ve found them under the bed, roaming the backyard, in the bookshelves…
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Is this the only application you got? Perhaps you should hold out for a less lazy Boobie Washer.