*this could become a regular series.
When you graduate Salutatorian it can give you the idea that you’re pretty smart.
Then, when you look back and realize you were Salutatorian of your eighth grade class…
Of 12…
It seems less impressive.
Thoughts like that don’t hit you until your late 30s or so, because prior to that you know everything in the world. Sure, you put a few pennies into electrical sockets,but that doesn’t prove anything. Why would someone electrify a slot so OBVIOUSLY meant for a penny? Electricians are stupid.
Once the inkling that you might not know everything starts to creep, suddenly, evidence is everywhere. It’s like that Bones episode where you guess the killer in the first ten minutes. You know that one? The one that was on from 2005 until the last time it aired?
Mounting evidence I might not be that bright #1:
I hit me yesterday, in the shower, that I had listened to “Gangnam Style” in the shower every day for two weeks. Not only is it an empty piece of pop drivel but:
- I bang my elbow on the shower wall every time I try to do the “giddy-up horsey” move. Any idiot knows you can’t properly pretend to throw a lasso in a shower stall and that escaping cattle rarely hide in a shower stall. Still, I persist.
- The “slide across the floor” move is actually quite dangerous in a shower and you can only move 2 inches before moving back to the starting point and beginning again.
- I now actually believe I’ve translated the Korean phonetically including such moving lyrics as: ”Summer Hair!” ”Silence is golden…” and ”Korean I don’t know.” (That last line being the only bit that is certainly correct.)
- I actually drew a picture on my Aqua Notes of a dragon (one of the few things I can draw) to ACCOMPANY me during my shower performances.
Smart people don’t do things like this. Stephen Hawking doesn’t dance in his shower to terrible foreign pop songs.
Ok, bad example, but you get what I mean.
Don’t feel bad. I can’t even dance in the shower right now because I sprained my foot running down the stairs two weeks after I opened a freezer door on my head, resulting in a mild concussion.
Smart people don’t do things like this, but they’re also a little bit boring. I like us.
Abby recently posted..A Thank You Note
Add your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues
It’s because you don’t eat meat. Have a hamburger and your bones won’t snap. It’s a medical fact. Or the Burger King decreed it. One of those.
Amy Vansant recently posted..Daniel Day-Lewis Facts
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
SUCH a stereotype. I would prefer the stereotype that I’m Polish and clumsy, thankyouverymuch
Add your Twitter: AbbyHasIssues
Waaaiiit a minute…That waterproof notepad in the shower? Sheer brilliance! Stop listening to that crazy inner (dumb) voice.
Beduwen recently posted..There’s No Place Like … Someplace Else
Add your Twitter: Beduwen
It’s for “shower thinkers” (or dancers, as the case may be… http://www.myaquanotes.com/
Amy Vansant recently posted..My Bother-in-Law and Moral Ambiguity
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Actually I translated the main chorus of Gangnam Style as “it feels so good to take so much money from dumb americans”.
You’re too awesome to be “unbright”
Lance recently posted..Ain’t It Heavy
You’re too kind. Well, for what it’s worth, the 99 cents I spent on it, I got a blog out of it…
Amy Vansant recently posted..Petty Goals
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
There’s a thing as waterproof notepads?!?!? Dear god, with that kind of technology at your hands how could you not be drawing dragons and witches in the shower.
What’s a salutatorian again?
Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point recently posted..Dude, Where’s My Life?
Add your Twitter: PCPPPBlog
Salutatorian is second place. I think. I thought so. But I just said I’m not that bright so…
Amy Vansant recently posted..The Last Super Bowl
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Watch a bunch of bad horror movies, or some Law and Order SVU, those always make me feel smart. Five minutes in you’re yelling at everyone because you know everything thats going to happen. This is also fun if you want to pretend to be psychic. I like to yell after they characters do something I specifically said not to do “Nobody listens to me”. Except in movie theaters, then everyone is listening to me, and somewhat irritated. But I’ve taken xanax before hand, so they don’t know that I don’t care, and that my “inside” voice is no longer functional.
Nina Potts recently posted..Missing Canada
Add your Twitter: honestlynina
We watched “Die Hard with a Vengeance” last night and I felt like a GENIUS.
Amy Vansant recently posted..The Dog Opens a Vomitorium
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Even with the Penny Thing, you’re still ahead of me. I once bit an electrical cord (which was plugged in, mind you), because I couldn’t pull it out of the wall. (It was in my way.) It shocked my 4-year old ass across the room and scared the bejesus out of my mother.
Still, I don’t think I have too many side effeslasgoghosadgth
bluzdude recently posted..Loose Ends Part 3
Add your Twitter: DarwinfishBluz
Yikes – at least you were 4. I though you were going to say it was yesterday…
Amy Vansant recently posted..Good fences make kind of crappy neighbors.
Add your Twitter: kidfreeliving
Now, when I play with my trucks, I use the middle of the floor.
Bluzdude recently posted..Odd Bits – The Hostess Edition
Add your Twitter: DarwinfishBluz
You are just cleverly multitasking, combining your shower with your dance workout–cleans off the sweat as it happens! It sounds like a good plan to me.
Add your Twitter: SarcasticArt
I love that note pad! It may stop me from talking to myself in the shower and the cat going crazy outside the bathroom, thinking I am talking to him.
soynailcider recently posted..Tangling With An Octopi
Add your Twitter: writtenlostice
It would be hard to lasso animals in the shower because they would be all soapy and slip out of the noose.
Add your Twitter: cannibal_nerd
I have never seen a notepad in the shower before. I’m not sure if this is sheer brilliance or a disturbing use of one’s time while showering. Although, I don’t seem to get light bulb moments in the shower.
Jen recently posted..If You Want To Be The Change, Act On The Words
Add your Twitter: whenpigsflyblog
I’m impressed you attempt the horsey-lasso type move. I have neither the self-confidence nor the chutzpah to even try.
Natalie the Singingfool recently posted..Exploding Washing Machines and Rod Stewart Impersonators
A notepad in the shower… actually that might not be such a bad idea. I could write things I’m not meant to forget on it and… oh who am I kidding… nothing will make me more efficient in the morning.
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Well that explains a lot…